Saturday, January 9, 2010

Night Terrors

You might ask me why I am up at this ungodly hour. I should be snuggled all warm in my bed on such a cold winter's morning... But I'm not... Because MY CAT IS RUINING MY LIFE!!

Every night whilst I slumber, wee little Ouija creeps into our bedroom. His first course of action is to go straight to the bottom of our bed, slip silently under the blankets & bite my toes. My immediate response to this (as would be anyones of course) is to grab my gun & just start shooting. (I have to sleep with a water-pistol on my bed stand.) Once I have awoken enough to realize that no, my attacker is not the flesh eating zombies of my nightmare world, but indeed my real life cat who is chomping away at me bit by bit... I quickly tuck my feet up under my blankets & attempt to fall back to sleep.

But just as I start to nod, there is a loud CRASH & now Ouija is on top of my dresser, knocking down knick-knacks & perfume bottles. I once again get my gun & take aim on the little SOB. He then runs, scattering the rest of the things from the top of my dresser to the floor. I then pull the blankets over my head & close my eyes tightly.

And as I slowly relax, thinking all is not lost & a snooze might still be within my grasp, Ouija starts his trilling. It's this sound he makes, that is high pitched & loud & I can't entirely describe it as a meow. However it is effective, because now I know that Ouija has won. Now I know that sleep will not come.

I throw the blankets off me & as I stumble bitterly across the dark room, Ouija is at my feet, weaving in & out & around my legs, purring. I wonder to myself, is he in fact trying to make me trip, hoping that perhaps I might fall & break my neck? He does this every night! What is this perverse ritual of his? And why me?

1 comment:

  1. I think your cat and my cat might just be brothers. Milo bites my fingers every night and we play the hilarious game "now, I will bite you!" (that's Milo's move) "so, I will throw you off the bed." (that's my move) over and over and over again. For hours!

    Is it wrong to consider putting him in a sack and putting the sack in the river? sigh. I know it is.